


We’ll Meet Again

by YellowLipstick



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Brother/Brother Incest, Durincest, Graphic Description, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Lullabies, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Rape Aftermath, Reincarnation, Sibling Incest, Sickness, Song Lyrics, Suicide, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:09:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22257544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowLipstick/pseuds/YellowLipstick
Summary: Fili and Kili will meet again, in the afterlife, after losing each other in different ways.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Kudos: 9





	1. On Death’s Doorstep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili is injured with a poisoned arrow and Fili holds him during their last hours together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “I See Fire” by Ed Sheeran

“Oh, misty eye of the mountain below

Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls

And should this sky be filled with fire and smoke

Keep watching over Durin's sons”

-Ed Sheeran, “I See Fire”

The poisoned arrow pierced through Kili’s skin with a ripping agony but he fought on, determined to see this fight to its end. He shot his arrows with skilled accuracy, felling orc after orc with precision. When his fingers finally stuttered as the pain overtook his sensibilities, Fili was there. Fili was always there. The golden heir finding his place at the younger’s back or side, protecting him, loving him.

Fili gripped the swooning archer in his arms firmly and dragged him from the field. They had indeed won the fight, escaped the orcs, but at what cost? He had never known Kili to be felled by so simple of a wound before, but he could see the arrow sticking sickly out of the younger’s leg and noticed the blood seeping around the wound was blackened with poison. They made camp and tried to help the young dwarf with what meager provisions they had, but they weren’t enough. Nothing could be enough against a poison so foul, so evil and vile at it’s source.

He held Kili all through that wretched, blasphemous night. Trying to soothe his pain with soft words and murmured lullabies while staving the fever with damp rags. He gripped the younger dwarf to his body tightly when he screamed in delirium with wild hallucinations, tried to kiss his lips and whisper of his love to calm the irrational dwarf’s terror. When all that had failed and the young dwarf had fallen into chilled shivers, quiet now but for the chattering of his teeth as he shook with cold, Fili held him tighter still.

He tried desperately to warm Kili with his own body, praying to Mahal his beloved would live to see the sun’s light on the horizon; and when he realized Kili’s body was cooling too much to recover from Fili only laid desperate kisses all over his raven hair and youthful face. He shook with sobs and wailed into Kili’s neck piteously, he knew his brother couldn’t wake from the deathly chill that was creeping through his body.

So here they were. They were at the end. They had come upon death’s doorstep, where their bodies would turn to ash and dust. There wasn’t a thing they could do; no lullabies they could sing would make this all go away. Kili closed his eyes and breathed his last, shuddering with cold in his brother’s trembling arms, face bathed with Fili’s tears. The arrow’s poison had desecrated his body, and left him in his final hours to suffer agonizingly with pain, fever, fearful hallucinations, and finally-a cold death, the freezing poison curling it’s claws around his lungs and heart to steal the life right out of him.

Truly, they were both at the end. Fili would not, could not, live without his Kili-his brother-lover-everything. He closed Kili’s glassy eyes gently, kissing the soft, delicate lids before placing one last kiss on his baby brother’s cold lips. He grabbed his sword from the ground and ignored the alarmed yells coming from the other dwarves. Before they could do anything, say anything, stave their prince’s shaking hands-Fili gutted himself fully upon his own sword. He choked out a final sob as his life’s blood gushed from his nostrils and mouth before falling upon his cold, baby brother and taking a last, gasping breath. 

Fili died with a smile upon his face, he would be with Kili again, and all would be well. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, let Mahal continue his watch over Durin’s sons.


	2. In the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili confesses his true feelings to a seemingly disgusted Fili. His brother's rejection broke his heart, how could he live in a world where Fili didn't love him anymore?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Hey Brother” by Avicii

“Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you,

There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.

Hey brother, do you still believe in one another?”

-Avicii, “Hey Brother”

In the end, nothing mattered, his feelings hadn’t mattered; Kili fisted Fili’s tunic in desperation, hopelessly wishing he could take back those awful words that had put the horrified look of disgust on his golden brother’s face. He knew his love for Fili, so much deeper than that of mere brothers, could only be a revolting mistake. Filthy, wrong, wicked-and he had branded his perfect brother with the knowledge of the sickness in his heart.

When Fili walked out, it was the end of Kili’s world. Nothing mattered without Fili and there could be no reparation. The young archer released a loud sob and clattered for one of Fili’s throwing knives, carelessly left out on their linens chest. He gripped the handle with shaking hands and thrust the blade against his sternum, crying out sharply when the point kissed his bone but didn’t penetrate. He gasped and gulped as tears ran down his face before gripping the handle tighter and pulling the blade harshly through his bone and into his delicate heart.

As he fell to the floor and bled out, he blinked blearily at the ceiling and tried to imagine Fili’s face during happier times. When his older brother would smile at him and tug at his hair, when Kili could pretend his sick feelings were secretly returned. Yet he had been mistaken, he had poured his heart out and had it thrown to the dust. So now he would pour out his life’s blood until it stopped hurting, until the terrible anguish blinking in and out of his senses ceased.

As the darkness closed in around his vision and his body had tempered from the coldness of dying to the warmth of true death, he thought he saw beautiful gold winking in his eyesight. He tried to widen his eyes to get a better look but his body had long ago stopped responding to his mind’s whims. He heard his big brother shouting over him from a terrible, echoing distance and smiled like a loopy fool when Fili’s deep tones finally filtered into his ears. Ah Mahal, at least he could die happy with Fili’s voice ringing in his ears and those glorious, golden braids flashing before his eyes.

Kili’s body convulsed and shuddered as he breathed his last in Fili’s arms, and even the silly grin on his young face couldn’t stop the elder’s grief from over taking him. What had he done? When Kili had confessed his true feelings to him, the elder had been elated. He had long desired to take his little brother as a spouse, to grow old in loving companionship with the happy archer tumbling about by his side.

Yet, he knew his feelings were wrong. They couldn’t be-shouldn’t be-more than mere brothers, it was not right. He knew to love his little brother like that, to desire his flesh and seek his ardent affections, was wicked. He had long hidden his true feelings for Kili, seeking to do the right thing by his younger brother and keep his disgusting desires to himself. Hearing Kili express his true feelings was like a soothing balm to his battered heart, but it could not be.

He had wrenched himself away from the crying, young dwarf with disgust on his features at his own cowardice. He couldn’t believe he was breaking Kili’s heart, couldn’t believe he didn’t have the courage to share his true feelings before leaving to do the right thing; but he couldn’t find it within him to tell Kili of his deep, all-consuming love and then just leave. He needed to just go, quickly, before the truth spilled from his blasphemous mouth.

So he had left, not looking back when he heard Kili’s heartbroken cries. He sunk to the floor right outside their chambers and sobbed into his shaking hands. Could he really bear to live without Kili’s affections? Could he stand to be by Kili’s side as mere brother any longer? There was a terrible agony ripping through his chest and he simply couldn’t survive with the pain any longer. He turned and ran back into their chambers to calm Kili, to declare his true feelings and beg for forgiveness and loving mercy.

Yet when he opened the door to their room, he saw Kili’s pale body lying on their floor, a throwing knife piercing through his chest. His steps faltered and he fell to his knees by his brother’s side. He was yelling Kili’s name over and over as if it could save his broken body from the cold steel piercing his dying organ. Everything was too much, too loud, too painful. His ears were ringing and his vision was blotting, but he grabbed Kili in his arms, needing his beloved to not die alone. He forced his heavy tongue to babble of his love to the dying youth, stuttering and gasping as his tears bathed Kili’s face.

When Kili had gone, when there was no warmth left in his tattered body to hold onto, Fili closed the young dwarf’s eyes and kissed his cold lips softly. He had done this; he had caused this with his cowardice, his foolishness, and his selfishness. Not only did he deserve to walk Arda no longer, but he also couldn’t even comprehend a life without Kili by his side in any capacity-brother or spouse. Kili was no more, so Fili must be no more.

He laid Kili down gently on the cold stone before pulling the dagger from his prone chest with a sharp jerk. He winced at the horrible squelching noise it made but carried on; this was all that was left for him now. He held the dagger to his own chest and took a deep breath before plunging it harshly into his heart. He upon his dead baby brother, and poured his heart’s blood all over Kili’s cold body.

At least the could be together again in death Fili mused before his thoughts went dizzy with blood loss, soon only able to focus on the memories of Kili’s beautiful eyes, his quick smile, and his loving spirit. In the end, it was just the two of them, alone on the floor, cold and still. Death had claimed them for its own.


	3. Cuckoo Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is captured and taken by Orcs, Kili tries to rescue him but arrives too late.

It had been a long night and by the time they found him all their efforts had been in vain. They were too late; Fili had already been broken. The orcs had defiled his body, torn his spirit, and seemingly tortured his mind into near insanity. No one could have seen this coming; the blonde dwarf was merely standing watch over their small scouting camp when the horde of orcs had rushed them in the early hours of dusk.

They had engaged in a small skirmish before grabbing Fili and riding off while Kili chased them down with his bow, shooting arrow after arrow desperately into the darkening skyline. They hadn’t been quick enough, the orcs had mounts and the dwarves were on foot. The other dwarves of the company had restrained Kili from running to his death before trying to convince him they should go to the nearest town to find ponies before going back for Fili.

Kili had barely listened, entirely taken apart by panic at the thought of his brother, his dearest lover, in the hands of the filthy, wicked orcs. Somehow he had been cowed into a town, shoved on a pony, and had ridden out through the wilds in search of his beloved. Though it had all been for naught, they had taken too long with the foolish ponies. He should not have let the other dwarves restrain him; running to his death would have been better than leaving Fili to this.

All the orcs were now dead in burning piles around the moldering, reeking cave; but when Kili had finally set down his bow and approached the naked, cowering blonde in the corner, it was as if the fighting had never stopped. Fili jumped and jerked away from his beloved’s touch, howling when Kili tried to hold him. He started muttering disjointedly, begging for the pain to please stop.

As Kili examined his shaking form in more detail, his stomach rolled and he almost vomited. Not only was Fili’s body covered in bruises and jagged cuts, both eyes swollen almost shut and nose clearly crooked; but there was blood flowing freely from between his legs, and it was clear that every twitching movement pained him enormously. They had raped his dear brother, his own love. Kili saw red and his hands shook, he should have made their deaths less quick, more painful. He should have tortured them like they had tortured his Fili.

He reached out a hand to Fili and winced when his movement caused the panicking dwarf to flinch away in fear as more pleas for mercy left his bloody lips. He did the only thing he could think of, the thing that had always comforted them when they were dwarflings, scared from a fresh nightmare. He started to lowly sing Fili their lullaby, praying to Mahal he could soothe his frightened brother.

Fili quieted and tilted his head towards the singing brunette, listening intently to the remembered song. Kili’s voice wavered and he tried to keep his tears from falling; he needed to be strong for Fili, he would do anything for his brother, whatever he needed. As Kili finished the song, Fili coughed and broke down in loud sobs, grabbing for his brother who he finally recognized through the torturous haze in his mind. Kili held Fili to him tightly, rocking him back and forth on the dirty cave floor, and repeating the song over and over in the hopes it would continue to calm Fili. He didn’t care that the other dwarves were watching them awkwardly from the mouth of the cave, he didn’t care the smell of burnt flesh and blood was ripe in the air, nothing mattered but Fili.

Fili’s sobs finally lessened, allowing him to gasp and sniffle against Kili’s dirty tunic.

Kili hesitantly placed a small kiss to Fili’s grimy hair and whispered, “Fee?”

Fili shivered minutely and mumbled thickly, “’M cuckoo bird.”

Kili smiled sadly, Fili had called Kili his cuckoo bird when they were little, when their mother would sing this song to them. He wrapped his arms tighter around Fili and squeezed him, sighing against his head and still trying desperately to hold in the cries of grief that wanted to rip from his lips.

“Cuckoo bird, Kee-lee, ‘m Kili,” Fili babbled, seemingly slipping in and out of reality and consciousness, “B-brother, I can’t-I want-I need your help K-kili,” he stuttered uncertainly.

“Anything Fee, I’ll do anything for you,” Kili whispered, needing to make this right for Fili, needing to take away his pain; anything to stop the horrific shivers still running though his battered body.

“C-can you-could you-I can’t live…Breathing, it hurts, everything hurts…Won’t do this…Kee-lee…I won’t…C-cuckoo bird?” Fili mumbled out chaotically, while Kili strained to understand what his brother needed from him.

“Fili? What is it Brother? What do you need?” he asked in confusion and slight unease.

Fili coughed and cleared his throat, shaking his head slightly as he tried to speak coherently; needing Kili to know he was speaking in his mostly right mind, “K-kill me, I won’t survive this, I can’t go on Brother. P-please be merciful and put me out of my misery….c-cuckoo bird, my cuckoo bird…,” he finished, his rational speech breaking off into mumbled words.

Kili gasped and started shaking, the tears now freely falling down his face. How could he kill his own brother? His lover? Only, he was inclined to agree with Fili. He wasn’t sure Fili could ever recover from this torture and abuse physically, let alone mentally. Perhaps the right thing to do, the merciful thing, would be to end his life, end his suffering. He started shaking when the heavy weight of this realization fell upon his shoulders like a lead mantle: he needed to kill Fili. It was the only way, the only right way left in all the chaos, all the suffering.

He shushed Fili’s babbling cries and held the quivering dwarf closely to his chest while seeking for the hunting knife in his boot with his free hand. He drew the knife out with a sickening metallic noise and regarded it solemnly. He could do this for Fili; he could rescue his brother from the evil in this world. It was breaking him, burning through his veins like acid to do it, but he would fulfill this final request of Fili’s.

He leaned down and kissed Fili’s bruised and bloody forehead softly, whispering, “I love you so much, my Fili. We’ll be together again, I’ll go with you, this I promise you.”

Fili merely babbled on about ‘Kee-lee, his cuckoo bird’ while Kili said his last goodbyes; the blonde’s remaining rational senses having left him after uttering his wishes for death. Kili plunged the sharp knife deep into Fili’s back, instantly severing his spine and piercing up through his heart. As Fili convulsed and blood fountained from his mouth, Kili started singing again, needing Fili’s last moments to be surround in loving warmth, soothing and familiar calm.

When Fili had stopped twitching and his body was growing cold and stiff in Kili’s arms, he pulled the knife from his beloved’s back and ignored the alarmed shouts coming from the other dwarves. They had left the brothers for some privacy and didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. They were always too late. When they finally came back in to check on them they found a dead Fili lying on Kili who had a knife in his shaking fist.

Kili plunged the knife into his own neck, cutting through his carotid artery instantly and causing his lifeblood to spill in rivers all over himself and Fili’s corpse. As he gasped for breath and his vision went black, he brokenly tried to mumble their lullaby, needing to end his life with Fili ensconced in this familiar comfort.

The bewildered and terrified dwarves couldn’t understand why their youngest Prince, in his final moments, could only rasp, “Cuckoo…cuckoo…cuckoo…”.

They shook their heads at the delirious dwarf and closed his glassy, dying eyes. They couldn’t give the royal brothers the proper burial in stone they deserved; their bodies were far too mangled, too horrific, to bring home to their King. They set the entwined corpses ablaze and prayed to Mahal they would never live to see such a tragedy again.


	4. Final Breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili take their final breaths together while Fili hopes for a brighter future together.

He crawled across the muddy battlefield, searching desperately for his dying brother. He had seen Kili pierced with a vicious spear right through his chest as he himself had fallen under an onslaught of poison-tipped arrows. Now his only quest, his only purpose left in his rapidly ending life, was to find his dearest brother before he bled out alone; surrounded by strangers, gore, and despair.

He pulled his broken, pained, and poison riddled body through the slimy soil; fingers clawing into the mire while his legs kicked uselessly behind him. The poison was working quickly, and with so many arrows embedded into him he wasn’t sure he would make it long enough to kiss Kili’s beautiful face before death embraced him. He heard muffled groans up ahead; even through the din of the continued fighting he could hear the pained cries clear as day. It was Kili, he was sure of it.

He struggled in the dirt before using his remaining strength to heft himself over the tiny hillock of discarded bodies, muck, and refuse. He painfully tumbled to the dust, rolling on some of the arrows still sticking out of him and moaning miserably when their shafts cracked and burrowed deeper within his body at the breaking pressure. Yet as he rolled off the arrows and onto his side, his bloodied face lit up; he had found Kili. 

Already the memories were flooding through his mind, seeping into his veins and chasing up his nervous system. It always happened like this, they could never be together happily. Sometimes they remembered as they died, remembered that eventually it would all be okay. Sometimes they didn’t, and they died in lonely anguish and unfettered grief; miserable with the misguided knowledge that their deaths were truly the end.

This time, Fili remembered, and he knew everything would be all right in the end. They would meet again, and when they did there was always the chance that one lifetime they shared wouldn’t end in death, despair, or tragedy. One time, they would get it right, and he held that hope close to his heart as he comforted Kili through his final breaths. 

He petted his shaking hands over the brunette’s rapidly paling face and cooed at him softly before placing little kisses all along the tear streaks that marked up Kili’s smooth cheeks. The archer shuddered in his brother’s embrace and keened brokenly, choking on shameless sobs as the fear of his impending death trapped him. Fili shushed his little brother’s cries with more gentle kisses, going so far as to place his lips softly against Kili’s, remembering their shared romantic love in lives past. 

Kili gave a muffled moan and quieted under Fili’s kiss, relaxing into the gentle touch with familiarity before finally breathing his last, shuddering, and stilling as his spirit parted from his cold corpse. Fili gripped his brother to him tighter, holding his dying body close, and let his own tears fall against Kili’s face while he kissed him through death. He broke the kiss when Kili was no more, wailing in anguish, before choking back his cries and trying to focus on the small hope that they would meet again. They always would. After every final breath, they would be together again. 

Fili inhaled deeply and quaked against Kili’s lifeless body before exhaling his final breath. It was all right. It would have to be all right. They would meet again. On death’s doorstep, in the end, when his little cuckoo bird had flown away, they would take their final breaths and meet again.


End file.
